The worst lullaby songs ever?

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The worst lullaby songs ever?

Morning!

This is going to be totally random, but caught myself humming some lullabies to my kids last night, and didn’t realize just HOW HORRIBLE some of the lyrics were! Wow!

Here’s the first one that caught me by surprise, and it didn’t get much better as I went along, haha…

Hush, Little Baby

Hush, little baby, don’t say a word.
Papa’s gonna buy you a mockingbird

And if that mockingbird won’t sing,
Papa’s gonna buy you a diamond ring

And if that diamond ring turns brass,
Papa’s gonna buy you a looking glass

And if that looking glass gets broke,
Papa’s gonna buy you a billy goat

And if that billy goat won’t pull,
Papa’s gonna buy you a cart and bull

And if that cart and bull turn over,
Papa’s gonna buy you a dog named Rover

And if that dog named Rover won’t bark
Papa’s gonna buy you a horse and cart

And if that horse and cart fall down,
You’ll still be the sweetest little baby in town.

Worst. (Finance) Song. Ever.

The only good thing about it was that last line on babies always being the sweetest, haha… But hope he’s sweet enough to inherit all of papa’s debts later! (And doesn’t get spoiled in the process!)

Once I switched gears realizing what I was singing, it got better for the wallet but not so much the kid:

Rock-a-Bye Baby

Rock-a-bye baby, in the treetop

When the wind blows, the cradle will rock

When the bough breaks, the cradle will fall

And down will come baby, cradle and all

NOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!

WHO IS CREATING THESE TERRIFYING SONGS???!

We’ve all been brainwashed!!! Haha….

But as bad as that one was, it was Clementine that really shocked me the most… Particularly since all my life I thought it was uplifting as I’d only learned to hum it over the years. But nope! Fooled again!

Clementine

In a cavern, in a canyon
Excavating for a mine
Lived a miner, forty-niner
And his daughter, Clementine

Oh, my darling, oh, my darling
Oh, my darling Clementine
You are lost and gone forever
Dreadful sorry, Clementine

Light she was and like a fairy
And her shoes were number nine
Herring boxes without topses
Sandals were for Clementine

Oh, my darling, oh, my darling
Oh, my darling Clementine
You are lost and gone forever
Dreadful sorry, Clementine

Drove she ducklings to the water
Every morning just at nine
Hit her foot against a splinter
Fell into the foaming brine

Oh, my darling, oh, my darling
Oh, my darling Clementine
You are lost and gone forever
Dreadful sorry, Clementine

Ruby lips above the water
Blowing bubbles soft and fine
But alas, I was no swimmer
So I lost my Clementine

Oh, my darling, oh, my darling
Oh, my darling Clementine
You are lost and gone forever
Dreadful sorry, Clementine

Then the miner, forty-niner
Soon began to peak and pine
Thought he oughta join his daughter
Now he’s with his Clementine

Oh, my darling, oh, my darling
Oh, my darling Clementine
You are lost and gone forever
Dreadful sorry, Clementine

There’s a churchyard on the hillside
Where the flowers grow and twine
There grow roses, ‘mongst the posies
Fertilized by Clementine

FERTILIZED?? DEATH?!! COME ON!!

How have we gotten away singing these songs to our kids for so long??

Gonna be hard to erase those memories now, haha…

Fortunately there are still plenty of lullabies that are kid friendly and daddy approved:

  • The Itsy-Bitsy Spider
  • Are You Sleeping (Frère Jacques)
  • Baa Baa Black Sheep
  • and Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star… Although how they’re still wondering what’s so shiny in the sky is beyond me as it says it RIGHT THERE IN THE TITLE!!

And if you really want to hit them with some financial magic as they drift off to sleep, might I recommend: “Coins!” by ABC Mouse. Catchy, and educational!

And that’s all I have for you today 🙂

Just had to get this off my chest in case anyone wants to start boycotting!! Amazing the things we say without thinking about it!

If you’re still jonesing for something financial this morning, check out this post I re-stumbled across and see how well you score: 20 Signs You’re Financially Stable (and 20 Signs You’re Not!)

Not sure which will give you sweeter dreams tonight, but you’re welcome either way 😉

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// Pic up top by cocoparisienne

 

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